Lost
by The Two Sides Of Fate
Summary: Memories flashed through his skull, screaming at him loudly when he refused to acknowledge them. He’d been here before; at the end of the world." Song fic: Damian Rice 'Cold Water'. Probable OOC. HichiIchi if you squint.


There's a fun little thing going around the ShiroIchi section of FF. It goes like this:

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do ten of these, then post them

**BUT,** I don't have an I pod or an mp3 (besides my precious laptop I don't really use electronics) so I just thought I'd do a thing with whatever song popped into my head first, so I was already cheating. Then, when I actually found myself getting into it, I was so excited that I was actually writing something after all this time I ended up getting carried away with it and just leaving the song on repeat. So, yeah, just a regular songfic. ShiroIchi of course, though you'll probably have to strain your eyes a little. **Probably OOC. You're mileage may vary. The song is "Cold Water" by Damian Rice. Just to warn you, it's very random, angsty, and has not been betaed.**

P.S. To anyone who added me onto their author alert, I've been working like mad on Juxtaposed whenever I find the time- you can tell a bit by the themes in this one-shot. It's getting there guys. Thank you all for being so wonderful to me. Love you all. I truly appreciate all your kind words of encouragement. Thank you.

* * *

'_Can you hear me now?'_

_There is a silence so sharp it seems to actually make its own sound. He wonders if he can hear it. He doubts it. No can hear him here. No one ever can. _

_He is surrounded by a ton of cold heavy water. Or at least he is pretty sure that that is what it is. It's dark. Hard to see, harder to breathe, and yet…somehow he _can_ breathe. _

_He remembers this place. He'd been here before, what felt like years ago; though he knew it had hardly been more than a month or two. It was hard to tell, actually. He'd lost track of time so very long ago. Hell, who was he kidding, he laughed internally, he'd lost track of everything, not just time. _

_After he lost, the hollow expected his "suppression" would be…well anything but this, but here he was just sinking, or floating, whatever the fuck- he didn't know. Up, down sideways; it all looked the same. He was lost. Lost in what used to be his own damn soul. He almost laughed out loud this time, but was careful enough not to. Sure, he could breathe here but that didn't mean he wanted a mouthful of…whatever this shit was._

_Though, maybe he'd be able to figure out what it was if he drank some…_

_The hollow's eyes widened and he coughed as the cold liquid burned his throat and insides_. The hell…?_ He squirmed in the darkness, gripping at nothing, his black nailed hands clawing at the water around, his inverted eyes squeezed tightly shut. He couldn't help it- with the little air he had in his lungs, he screamed. Of course, this only made it worse as more water flooded inside him._

_There was a sudden violent jerk around him and the hollow panicked. He couldn't…there was no way he could break in two _again_…was there? No, that was impossible. He was already hollow, he couldn't break_ more.

_Memories flashed through his skull, screaming at him loudly when he refused to acknowledge them. He'd been here before; at the end of the world. Thousands of white boxes-pieces of his heart- rained down around him. It should've been a simple task; all he had to do was pull a sword out right? Why wouldn't it come out? If it didn't come out then he would-_

.

.

.

.

"_What happened? If you do not hurry-"_

"_I- I can't! It's stuck! I-"_

_It burned. There was so much pain. He was going to become a hollow any minute. He was really going to die._

'_No, no, no! I can't! I can't! I-'_

_He was screaming now. He could hear himself, though he wasn't sure if it was himself on the outside that was doing it or if he himself was actually screaming._

_All the pain shooting through him came to focus directly at his center; a hollow hole. _

'_Shit, shit, shit!'_

_The sword was almost free! He was almost there! The heart pounding loudly in his ears was his timer as well as his proof; he was still human. He was still human!_

_The sword came free just as he heard a deafening crack. _

"_No!"_

_And in an instant his entire world shattered._

.

.

.

_He was falling. It was the strangest thing. He'd thought that when you were already a spirit that you couldn't see yourself as you died, but there he was, suspended in air-or water- and here _he_ was sinking away from himself._ _He sank so quickly, it almost felt like he was falling. _

_He'd failed._

_What…was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to save Rukia? How was he supposed to thank Inoue? How was he supposed to see that movie with his friends? How was he supposed to say goodbye to his family? He still had so many promises he had to keep. His sisters…Yuzu and Karin… He had to protect them. And his mother…he was supposed to avenge her… he couldn't even find it in him give his Dad what he'd asked and die with a smile on his face…_

'_Are you there somewhere? Can you hear me? … Or am I lost?'_

_He reached upward with a pale hand. _

'_Mom, I'm sorry I failed you. You died for me but I couldn't live like you wanted.'_

_There was no answer. _

'_Of course…You can't hear me at all…' He laughed bitterly within his own head._

_Still more silence. _

'_Am I lost?'_

"…_You…don't even care do you?"_

_His vision blurred and darkened as he fell further and further away from himself. _

The water's perfect flat surface burst as two identical forms shot up through the dark glass. The hollow gasped and wheezed, greedily sucking in air between each ragged cough. Beside him Ichigo was doing the same, shooting him a weak half-glare as they clung to the edge of the river.

"You…jack-ass…" Ichigo just barely managed to cough out. "You almost drowned just now…what the hell were you thinking?"

Mentally he added, _"It's usually you who has to be the one to save my ass not the other way around."_

The hollow said nothing, gripping the edge of the river bank to pull himself up out of the ice cold water. After he settled on land he turned to help pull his other half up as well.

Ichigo met his eyes as he took the ivory hand. "You could've died, you know."

The Hollow snorted. "I'm already dead, dumb-ass. I'm a hollow."

"You know what I mean,' Ichigo huffed settling on the riverbank as well. The Hollow's eyes glazed over his other self and he stared back out at the dark black surface of the river, remaining uncharacteristically silent. He hadn't thought about his life before he'd become hollow for a long time. He hadn't thought about_ that_ place for a long time. It already felt so distant. He hardly even considered himself to be "Ichigo" at all anymore. He didn't feel as if they were the same as much as he used to. But that- was it a memory? He couldn't be sure-…whatever it was, it made him realise more than anything they really were the same soul in the end.

It always ended the same; with him reaching up to nothing. Who'd taken his hand the first time he'd fallen? He rolled his eyes at himself. No one had, obviously.

Except for…

"You're wrong," Ichigo said suddenly, causing him to turn. "You…_we_ didn't let her down because of what happened. I think she can still hear us…even if she can't say anything back."

The hollow raised a brow.

"And… if nothing else, _I_ can hear you. Okay, Shiro? You're not lost anymore, or whatever- at least, not alone. "

… _Am I lost with **you?**_

* * *

I kinda hope people don't read this. I'm embarrassed of it a bit. *shrugs*

On a final note: falling into a river is easier than it sounds. Especially if you're stupid like me and think picking the flowers off the riverbank will please your Mom. -.-

Now I must sleep...ZZZzzzzzzzzzz...


End file.
